Letters to my former self : Somewhere in the middle of the story

Dear you,

Do you remember when you said you wanted to dance?You looked so happy.You were, so happy.Your stern dark eyes lit up with a contagious excitement as you rambled on and on about your goals and dreams,the endless possibilities you called it.The burning passion.The magic."LIVE Rinna !LIVE!" you kept screaming as you leapt wildly across the room in long graceful swoops. I stood transfixed as your body undulated to the thumps of my heartbeat.You looked up. I held my breath.Like a serpentine,your soft supple back slithered into a sensual arch before you sliced into an open split.You watched in amusement as my knees gave in and i fell in a heap at your feet. Like the music around me, i bowed to your elegant demeanor.An angel in the flesh.

You were elegant

Enticing

captivating

but

the sadness slowly crept in, meandering its way into the helix of your being.The light in your dark eyes flickered with a raging fire.The burning passion. The magic. The captivating spirit corrupted by the taints of hysteria."LIVE Rinna! LIVE" you whispered as you sat staring into the lifeless mirror.I stood disgusted as you lunged and threw your grotesque misshapen figure across the rigged floor. Like a snake, you writhed and wriggled your form haphazardly before you sharply convulsed into a waxy stillness. You watched in amusement as I sat still, captured in a trance. Your dark perpetual gaze drew me closer and closer to the abysmal abyss of overwhelming gloom and despondency. The more i looked, the deeper i fell. Like the eerie music around you, I lost the color in my voice and I bowed to your unsightly demeanor.A monster in the flesh.

You were elegant

Enticing

captivating

but

anxiety furiously entered ravaging what was left of you.The ransacking fire in your eyes blinded and consumed you. The burning passion.The magic. The joyful soul colonized by the malware of self hatred."LIVE Rinna !LIVE" you questioned as you lay in the corner of the room wrapped in thick blankets of self doubt. I sat motionless, broken, cradled with repugnance as you wallowed in the carcasses of self pity. You watched in amusement as my spirit broke and my body sunk to the cold floor to lie next to you. Our eyes locked,your dark intense gaze deepened into an incessant embrace. Like everything around you, i got lost in the maze of sorrow. Me in the flesh.There was some comfort to the sadness. I wasn't afraid. You held my hand as the tears of lost dreams trickled down my cheeks.

Do you remember when you said you wanted to dance?

You were so elegant

so enticing

so captivating

but

oh well

Eternity is a long time to hate your self you know ? Stuck in the feeling of 'What ifs' and 'Maybe i could have' Just get up and dance already! I don't know why i keep talking to you as if you'll respond. Ha. As if...

I hear that people say its crazy to talk to yourself

oh well. Its a little too late for that!

Till next time,you crazy bitch.

Me

P.S I still love you...